We have a dog in our family…Wilber is a minature dachshund…he is very cute, but when God was handing out brains, well let’s just say he was only given half a share. I know, you’re thinking that’s not very nice, but it’s the truth, and I have evidence. Two nights ago I was watching him growl at his toy, when he quite obviously passed some gas. He turned and looked at his tail wondering what was going on back there…he sniffed it and then shook his head because, apparently, it did not smell very good. If that was not enough evidence, about one minute later he passed wind again…this time he barked at his tail. So I wiped away my tears from all my laughter…he’s so entertaining.
We have a cat in our family…he is cute…but mostly he is just evil. I know, you’re thinking that’s not very nice, but it’s the truth, and I have evidence…he sets the dog up to get in trouble. He sneaks into Claire’s room to steal one of her stuffed animals..he brings it downstairs and leaves it in the dog’s kennel…then he sits on the couch and waits for the fireworks. However there is one problem with his dastardly plan…the dog is not allowed upstairs where the bedrooms are, so he could not have gone upstairs to get the stuffed animal. To be fair, we fell for it a few times, then we caught Blu in the act…evil I’m telling you.
We all have issues in our lives that are harder to deal with than others…challenges that we have had to battle most of our lives. I have almost always had an issue with my weight. i have taken a large leap for me by posting a photo of myself…it fills me with anxiety. My weight is my greatest personal challenge.
When I was a child I put on weight at about the age of nine just like most pre pubescent girls do. Back in the 70’s parents were not as aware of health and body issues as we are now…so basically I’ve been on a, “diet,” since the age of nine. All the yoyo dieting played havoc with my system…it has led me to be overweight most of my life…I am sure I have lost and gained several people by now.
The health issues of the last few years have made it obvious that I have to change my attitude and approach to my body issues. Health and not , have to be the focus for me. So I have tried to ditch the meat, I’m trying to add daily exercise…ok that one is not going well…and I am paying more attention to the symptoms of my autoimmune disease. If internal peace is my destination, then a more balanced attitude toward all parts of my life is the road to get there. Wow…two heavy posts in a row…I better lighten up tomorrow..lol.
When I was young my mother would admonish me when I used the word, hate. She would say, “hate is a strong word you should be very careful how you use it,”…she was right. Hate is a very strong word…it is a word that starts arguments, and fighting…racism, bullying, and even wars are justified with this word. There are times when I hate someone’s behaviours or words…however I try not to hate the person. I find the most difficult time…when it is hard not to hate the person…is when that person directs their anger directly at you because you are simply being who you are…being true to yourself.
There is only one way to fight hate, and that is with an equally strong word…Love. I know it sound sappy, even contrite, yet I know no other way to stop the hate…to bring peace to the situation. It is so hard to act with love, that we consider those who excel, heroes, people of great substance. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandel, are people that we should raise up as shining examples of love…but I believe that everyone is capable of great love. If we can feel hate, they we can feel love…if we can act with hate, then we can act with love.
So you are probably thinking, this post is about my garden, or a trip to Boston…no, it’s about someone named, Bean. I have tried not to use the real names of the people I love in my posts…to protect the innocent, and not so innocent. Up until know I have been using my wife’s middle name in my posts. Well now I have a problem…my wife has used her real name for her new etsy site…so now I have to use her real name, with her permission of course.
My wife’s real name is…drum roll please…Bean. Ok, her parents did not name her after a legume, they named her Bernice…my daughter started calling her Bean after she read it in a book called, “Ivy and Bean.” In the book the little girl’s real name is Bernice, but everyone calls her Bean. My wife hates her real name…she is convinced that it is a name for a 90-year-old woman…so now she is Bean. Her etsy shop name will be Bean’s Paper Tales…she is obsessed with paper. I will add a link when it is available, and I will post some of her work on this blog. There is no conceivable way that Bean will start her own blog…I’m the gaby one. So if there is something you want to write to her, write it to me…I’ll pass it on.
Today is a holiday in Canada. So if you are Canadian, Happy Victoria Day, everyone else just have a great day.
I woke up the morning, dragged myself to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and didn’t recognise the person looking back at me…she was frightening, hair standing up every which way, bags under her eyes, sallow wrinkly skin…it was awful. Once I realised it was me, I was even more frightened…I gave an involuntary yelp…Kathleen asked if everything was alright…I said yes, but really, it’s not. I’ve been so busy this week that everything, other than work, has been ignored…and wow does it show. I’m a wreck, the house is a disaster, the garden is over run with weeds, the animals are forming a union, and Kathleen looked at me yesterday and said, “do I know you?”
So this is it…time to pay attention to those people and things I say are most important to me…not that work isn’t, but I always have to remind myself it’s all about balance. Yes, I’ve been off-balance, in more ways than one. So today is about cleaning house…and lots of other things too. It’s about spending time with family and friends…and maybe a little time with myself. It’s about rescuing the garden, and breaking the rebel alliance among the animals. It’s about balance, have a great Sunday everyone.
No one wins in a custody battle, especially the child. My wife and I…because we are lesbians…have had to fight for custody of our children. The battles were long, draining, maddening, and largely unnecessary. There is another custody battle brewing in our family…but this one we have no legal say in, even though it affects us deeply. Kathleen and I have a grandson, Rayne…he is the son of Joseph…he will be four next month. We all love and miss him so very much.
As grandparents we have little to no say in Rayne’s life…not that we think that we should, we just want to see him. I’m going to be honest here…we are not allowed to see Rayne because we are lesbians…wait, I’m not over reacting or misreading the situation. Rayne’s maternal grandparents, who are caring for him right now, believe that access to Kathleen and I will, “make Rayne a fairy”… yes, that is a quote. I realise that I live in the most right-wing, red-neck part of Canada, but really, are they serious?
This post is not meant to sway anyone who does have a say in Rayne’s life, to suddenly realise that they are neanderthals…sorry that just slipped out…and no, I am not bitter. :)…no one involved even knows I have a blog. I’m not naive enough to believe that a blog entry is suddenly going to change their minds. I did say we have five children, and we do…Rayne will always be a part of this family, even if we are not allowed to see him.
I miss painting…I’ve been working in glass for about two years now…I have been a painter, from my first breath. I have been trying to find a way to incorporate my painting into my glass work. Artists have been painting on glass for centuries…it’s really tedious work. Instead of painting the image on the glass, the process involves removing the unwanted paint by scraping the paint off the glass. Add to that the fact that the glass has to be fired in a kiln for each color…it’s really time consuming. So I’m working on a process where I can paint on the glass, and then somehow cover it so the image becomes permanent, but still attractive. I enjoy the kiln work that I do now..the fusing and slumping…I just want to keep evolving, keep exploring new possibilities…otherwise life is boring…and I HATE boring. 🙂