Happy Valentines Day, Give Your Love Away…
Remember when your kids were little, and you suddenly realised that the house was too quiet…you knew that the little dickens were up to no good. Even though three of my children are in their twenty-somethings, I believe the same rule applies…they’re in trouble. If everything was going well, they would be calling, and telling me all about how wonderful they are…but when the sh** hits the fan…silence. They don’t want me to know that they spent all their money on Star Wars memorabilia, or got fired for spending too much time staring at their feet. so for all the twenty-somethings out there here is some advice for better communication…
1. Mom has known you since before you were born…in other words, you probably are not going to surprise her.
2. Moms have “mommy instinct,” it’s like radar, or eyes in the back of her head…she already knows something is up.
3. The truth always comes out…sooner or later, she going to know, even if she doesn’t tell you she knows.
4. Mom is not dumb…maybe she can help.
5. You may seem to be driving your mom crazy, and she may even say that to you…but you’re not.
6. Mom loves you…call her.
Now this being said, I must add a disclaimer. Some moms are not like this…some moms eat their young. So if your mom is one of those child eating kinds, ignore my advice, and talk to dad.
A closing note for my three sons…I’m not the child eating kind, ;).
God Bless, Julia (mom)
For years I worked with autistic children. My approach was often different from other therapists…I always interacted with others as though they were as,”normal,” as any other child. I read them books, we played, we learned the things that anyone of their age would be learning, we pursued activities that they showed genuine interest in. They may have not been able to talk…but they were communicating, and it was my job to,”listen,” to what they were trying to tell me. This video validates all those years of work…I knew then that I was understanding, and that I was understood…this just fills my heart with joy.
God Bless, Julia
We all have fears, some silly, some not so silly, however I have found that most of my little fears can be lumped together under a more general fear. What I fear most…and what has led to my greatest mistakes in life…is the fear of not being loved. The fear that the people I love will go away, stop loving me, or never loved me. When I was younger, that fear was much bigger then it is now…the crazy ass things I did for love could fill a novel. As I get older I find it less likely that I would publicly humiliate myself…well on purpose anyway. Fear can keep us, or delay us, from our destiny. Fear can keep us from doing what is in the best interest of ourselves.
I have to be careful with this fear because there are people who have known me for years…family, ex-family…that use my fear to manipulate situations. That is convoluted talk for…everyone knows I will do anything for my kids. Basically I know that when push comes to shove, I would throw myself in front of a train for my children. I have been known to take life threatening risks for other people’s children as well. An example: risking contracting something while giving a child, who was bleeding from the mouth, CPR. I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve…my mother use to worn me about it all the time…but at least I have a heart that can be broken. The alternative is to be a selfish, egomaniacal, bit**. Not that I have anyone in mind, or a few people, ok, maybe two, lol. Oh well…Live, Love , Laugh…
God Bless, Julia
As a child my family always came together at the end of the day to eat dinner. Don’t get me wrong…I do not look back at my childhood fondly remembering how much better it was then. It would be a much better memory if I had been sitting down to dinner with someone else’s family, ;>. But you get what you get, and I prefer to look at it for the few positives that it gave. It did give us all a chance to reconnect with each other…and especially for the parents to stay connected and interested in their teenager’s lives. The family’s values beliefs, and culture were shared around the table as part of the conversation and the food.
With this in mind…I bought a new dining room table. A big move in our house as we have not really had a dinning room at all for the last few years. As I work from home most of the time, and my wife has a hobby that takes up a lot of space, (you wouldn’t think scrapbooking would involve so much space, but it does in our house, :>)…our lives had taken over the dinning room for what seemed like more important needs. so with a little rearranging, and the moving of heavy furniture, I claimed space for the table.
So almost evening for the last three weeks we have gathered around the table to break bread together. I love it!…we now say grace again before our meals, we talk about our days, and laugh out loud about it. I’ve even tried some “traditional Scottish foods,” never going near haggis though. Robby Burns day is coming up…maybe I should plan a little scottish food…no haggis!…and Guiness for the grown ups. The Jamie Oliver cookbook I got for Christmas is going to come in handy.
As a side note, I love the name of Jamie Oliver’s children; Daisy, Poppy, Petal, and Bud…three girls and a boy…too cute.
God Bless, Julia
Following along the destiny road a little further….I think there are people in our lives that are destined to be there. this may seem weird but I know that when I meet someone new, that ends up being important to me, I can remember that moment me met vividly even years later. Why is it that even though I meet and talk to dozens of people each day, that when I meet my, life changers, that they almost seem to have an aura about them…a cosmic neon sign that says, “This One!!!”. Does anyone else get this feeling?…Maybe I am weird. ;>.
I’ve always been the kind of person that had a few very close relationships instead of a bunch of more superficial ones. It use to drive my childhood best friend crazy….she had literally hundreds of friends, I had about eight. She would say,” you’re my best friend, but I just like to keep my options open.” She never felt loved enough because of her physical disabilities, (Hence why I gravitated towards being a special needs teacher for severely disabled children…destiny?…who knows). I don’t do the superficial relationship very well, I am not a social butterfly by any means.
I know that I love my family and friends ferociously…I’ve been called a mama bear in reference to my children. I can’t imagine my life without them.
God Bless, Julia
Destiny…loaded word isn’t it? Most of the time I believe in one form of it or another…then there are the times when the whole destiny thing is too hard, and I want to believe in the randomness of the world. However, I do believe that the universe conspires us to go in a certain direction…it has happened too many times for me not to believe it. unfortunately, just because that particular road I am on is the one chosen for me, it does not mean that there are not huge boulders right smack dab in the middle of my way. I think we are given small successes to keep us on the road, and going in the right direction…the pebbles, rocks, and boulders we come across help us to learn and become stronger so we can travel further down the road to our destiny.
I’ve read that one’s destiny is the dream you once had for yourself as a child….before the world cruelly took it from you. I’m not sure that it is true for everyone…maybe you are lucky if you can remember your childhood destiny. I know that it is true for me…the most powerful positive childhood memories for me, all had to do with church, and art…it has taken forty years to get back on that road. Or maybe, I have always been on that road, but the boulders blocked my view. All I can do now is keep travelling…at least now I can see to the horizon.
God Bless, Julia