Bernice and I are dog sitting this week…the little guy’s name is Rambo. Don’t let the name fool you, he is really just a marshmallow, covered in a lot of fur. I knew that our own pets, Wilber (miniature dachshund) and Blu (the infamous evil cat), would have an adjustment period but it’s been three days now, and the two…or three…sides are not even at the negotiating table. Anytime someone moves, warning shots are fired…there is growling, meowing, yelling…and it takes a few moments for everyone to realise it wasn’t the start of WW3.
Blu, I know, is planning his retaliation already…he keeps glaring at us with a look like, “really?…two of them? You will pay for your transgression? mmmoooohhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa! I imagine the cat sounds like the evil guy from the Mike Myers movie, Austin Powers We thought yesterday that the fighting had begun…according to Claire’s reporting in the field, Blu allegedly attacked Rambo…they are all fine, Claire’s imagination can be quite vivid…but the cat is evil, remember.
As far as Wilber is concerned this is just an opportunity to get more food. For Wilber, the good part of not being very smart, is that he forgets that there is even another dog in the house…until he walks by. If Rambo stayed long enough then maybe they could set up an alliance against the cat…but, he goes home on Monday, and then the house will return to the cat’s dictatorship again.
The garden is calling me…it’s using foul language…I wish it would shut up. I’ve been neglecting the garden for the last week. It rained for three days last week which is very unusual for the prairies. The rain meant I got out of the habit of going out each morning to tend to the garden. It takes six weeks of repeadily doing something for it to become a habit…apparently that only applies to good habits, because the bad ones seem to only need three days. So in order to keep the garden from embarrassing me in front of the neighbours, I’m going to have to drag myself outside.
Three days of rain also means the grass is now almost up to my knees…I admit I am vertically challenged, but it’s still high. I don’t have a lot of grass, I prefer to have as much of the space as possible dedicated to growing. The dogs area is grass and as he is only nine inches high…he takes after me…I’m affraid he’ll get lost out there…I will have to call in a rescue team. Now I wouldn’t mind losing the cat out there for a few hours…remember, he’s evil…but he is bigger than the dog, so that won’t work. I could let it go for another week but then they would have to send in a rescue team for me…I guess I better take care of it.
We have a dog in our family…Wilber is a minature dachshund…he is very cute, but when God was handing out brains, well let’s just say he was only given half a share. I know, you’re thinking that’s not very nice, but it’s the truth, and I have evidence. Two nights ago I was watching him growl at his toy, when he quite obviously passed some gas. He turned and looked at his tail wondering what was going on back there…he sniffed it and then shook his head because, apparently, it did not smell very good. If that was not enough evidence, about one minute later he passed wind again…this time he barked at his tail. So I wiped away my tears from all my laughter…he’s so entertaining.
We have a cat in our family…he is cute…but mostly he is just evil. I know, you’re thinking that’s not very nice, but it’s the truth, and I have evidence…he sets the dog up to get in trouble. He sneaks into Claire’s room to steal one of her stuffed animals..he brings it downstairs and leaves it in the dog’s kennel…then he sits on the couch and waits for the fireworks. However there is one problem with his dastardly plan…the dog is not allowed upstairs where the bedrooms are, so he could not have gone upstairs to get the stuffed animal. To be fair, we fell for it a few times, then we caught Blu in the act…evil I’m telling you.
I have changed the names of those I talk about in my blog in order to protect the innocent, but Wilber in no innocent bystander. We do not have chickens…not that I’m against having chickens, though I think our neighbor would be just furious…no, no chickens just a miniature dachshund. I know what your thinking, how much damage could a dog that stands nine inches tall do?…a lot, that’s how much. When let outside to relieve himself do you think he goes to the nice grassy area I made for him?…no, he goes straight for the newly planted vegetable seeds! So I have resorted to surrounding my vegetable garden with chicken wire…my wife and I were out there for hours in defence our food source. It will help to keep the rabbits out as well…one year I lost half a cabbage to Peter ******* Rabbit in one night. It is not as though Wilber does not know what to do…you let him out, and at the bottom of the stairs he turns to see if you are watching him…if you are, he goes to his grassy area, if not, all bets are off. He even makes a sound like a chicken…if I could just get him to lay eggs we would be in business.