Tag Archive | funny

It’s Too Quiet

20120618-161421Remember when your kids were little, and you suddenly realised that the house was too quiet…you knew that the little dickens were up to no good. Even though three of my children are in their twenty-somethings, I believe the same rule applies…they’re in trouble. If everything was going well, they would be calling, and telling me all about how wonderful they are…but when the sh** hits the fan…silence. They don’t want me to know that they spent all their money on Star Wars memorabilia, or got fired for spending too much time staring at their feet. so for all the twenty-somethings out there here is some advice for better communication…

1. Mom has known you since before you were born…in other words, you probably are not going to surprise her.
2. Moms have “mommy instinct,” it’s like radar, or eyes in the back of her head…she already knows something is up.
3. The truth always comes out…sooner or later, she going to know, even if she doesn’t tell you she knows.
4. Mom is not dumb…maybe she can help.
5. You may seem to be driving your mom crazy, and she may even say that to you…but you’re not.
6. Mom loves you…call her.

Now this being said, I must add a disclaimer. Some moms are not like this…some moms eat their young. So if your mom is one of those child eating kinds, ignore my advice, and talk to dad.

A closing note for my three sons…I’m not the child eating kind, ;).

God Bless, Julia (mom)

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My Greatest Fear

148407750191028112_wtdLZNs8_bWe all have fears, some silly, some not so silly, however I have found that most of my little fears can be lumped together under a more general fear. What I fear most…and what has led to my greatest mistakes in life…is the fear of not being loved. The fear that the people I love will go away, stop loving me, or never loved me. When I was younger, that fear was much bigger then it is now…the crazy ass things I did for love could fill a novel.  As I get older I find it less likely that I would publicly humiliate myself…well on purpose anyway.  Fear can keep us, or delay us, from our destiny. Fear can keep us from doing what is in the best interest of ourselves.

I have to be careful with this fear because there are people who have known me for years…family, ex-family…that use my fear to manipulate situations. That is convoluted talk for…everyone knows I will do anything for my kids. Basically I know that when push comes to shove, I would throw myself in front of a train for my children. I have been known to take life threatening risks for other people’s children as well.  An example: risking contracting something while giving a child, who was bleeding from the mouth, CPR. I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve…my mother use to worn me about it all the time…but at least I have a heart that can be broken. The alternative is to be a selfish, egomaniacal, bit**. Not that I have anyone in mind, or a few people, ok, maybe two, lol. Oh well…Live, Love , Laugh…

God Bless, Julia

New Year, New Me…Yeah Right!

971I do love to make changes at the beginning of the year…its like there is a blank slate that you can imagine all kinds of possibilities for your life on. I do not make resolutions.  I do make a list of changes that I would like to make…not horribly hard ones, more like nudges in the right direction. They are things that I have been thinking about over the last year that I believe might make my everyday life easier. They are not resolutions, because it is not an all or nothing, win or lose, sort of thing. I see January first as a day off to get your sh** together…a global reorganization day.

I write my resolutions, changes, down in a journal…a nice new one…because writing things down seems to make them more concrete. Then I think about how I can make the change into smaller, more manageable tasks…you eat an elephant one bite at a time. If I’m feeling really ambitious I might even add a time line for myself. One year I was so determined, I typed them out on cue cards, laminated them, and kept them together with a ring closure so I could carry them around…ok, that’s too much.

I do this reorganization thing at another time of year as well…back to school time.  It is likely that I feel this ways then as well, because so much of my life has been spent in a classroom…whether as a student, or a teacher. I believe that everyone can learn and grow and change. Everyone can learn to love and be loved, to be kind, and respectful to themselves and others. The problem being, some people have more growing to do than others :>.

God Bless, Julia

Yada, Yada, Yada

147141112796085676_djyh9Kd5_bOk, so I could just put it right out there and write,  it is a new year and I am going to start again and post every day. However, my skills at being all-knowing and all-seeing have been on the fritz lately…so I am going to go with…I will try to post daily…and as long as I’m not working 70 hours a week, or all my fingers are broken, I just might be able to do that. I miss blogging and all my blogging friends…and sadly, it was put aside so that I could work retail at Christmas.

There is nothing like working retail at Christmas to CRUSH your belief in the Christmas Spirit. I had people swear at me, yell at me, call me names, throw things at me, threaten me, and try to bribe me…all that to make sure their art work is framed in time for Christmas. Seriously people, we all need to take a collective deep breath. A failure to plan on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine…especially since it is not life threatening. You will not go down in the annuals of time as the worse daughter in the world because your dad did not get his framed picture of dogs playing poker on Christmas morning.

 

So the season is over…I have a new-found disrespect for people, a four-week old bacterial infection in my lungs, and a hang over…hope your holidays were great everyone…LOL.

God Bless, Julia

Inspirational Video 7

I can’t help it, I love funny cat videos.  I’m not sure why, probably because our cat is, EVIL. He likes to go into the bathtub after someone has showered and drink the drops of water from the tap. I know if we turned the water on he would run for the hills…that’s why this video makes me laugh.

Update of Juicing Fast-Day 2 of 10:

Energy: Good

Mood: Good

Physical Symptoms: None

God Bless, Julia

Stuffed Friends

When I was a teenager my brother and sister-in-law lived upstairs from me with their young son Jonathon.  I spent a lot of time with Jonathon…I loved being with little children even back then.  Jonathon had an undiagnosed problem with his speech…it was found that he was tough tied later…that made it difficult for him to speak.  He had a stuffed toy dog that he carried with him everywhere…By age four that dog had no fur, eyes, or nose, it was the ugliest thing you had ever seen. My sister-in-law had tried to repair it as much as she could, but the stuffy…named, dog, because that was all Jonathon could manage…had been loved so much, it was a losing battle. Dog had to stay home when Johnathon went off to kindergarten…dogs go to dog school apparently…and slowely dog was left sitting on a shelf collecting dust, instead of memories.

When I saw this video I was immediately reminded of Jonathon, and my son Scott. Scott had an Elmo stuffy that he dragged…literally…with him everywhere. Elmo had hard plastic eyeballs, that would inevitably hit you in the head when Scott would swing him around. I can still hear the thud as they ricocheted off my ex-husband’s head…good memories. 🙂 Here is to those early childhood moments when you told all your secrets to a little stuffed animal.

God Bless, Julia