Happy Valentines Day, Give Your Love Away…
I suffer sometimes…I suffer from depression. It’s been so long that I forget when it started really. I know that after my first child, twenty-three years ago, I suffered from postpartum. After my second it was worse…they recommended I not have any other children. Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I have four children…two are technically step-children.
My mother suffered from postpartum after having me, and was incapacitated for the first four years of my life. I’m sure that heredity factors into all this…my grandmother suffered as did her father…he drank the family fortune away., so the story goes. I’m luckier my ancestors…better living through pharmaceuticals.
Remember when your kids were little, and you suddenly realised that the house was too quiet…you knew that the little dickens were up to no good. Even though three of my children are in their twenty-somethings, I believe the same rule applies…they’re in trouble. If everything was going well, they would be calling, and telling me all about how wonderful they are…but when the sh** hits the fan…silence. They don’t want me to know that they spent all their money on Star Wars memorabilia, or got fired for spending too much time staring at their feet. so for all the twenty-somethings out there here is some advice for better communication…
1. Mom has known you since before you were born…in other words, you probably are not going to surprise her.
2. Moms have “mommy instinct,” it’s like radar, or eyes in the back of her head…she already knows something is up.
3. The truth always comes out…sooner or later, she going to know, even if she doesn’t tell you she knows.
4. Mom is not dumb…maybe she can help.
5. You may seem to be driving your mom crazy, and she may even say that to you…but you’re not.
6. Mom loves you…call her.
Now this being said, I must add a disclaimer. Some moms are not like this…some moms eat their young. So if your mom is one of those child eating kinds, ignore my advice, and talk to dad.
A closing note for my three sons…I’m not the child eating kind, ;).
God Bless, Julia (mom)
For years I worked with autistic children. My approach was often different from other therapists…I always interacted with others as though they were as,”normal,” as any other child. I read them books, we played, we learned the things that anyone of their age would be learning, we pursued activities that they showed genuine interest in. They may have not been able to talk…but they were communicating, and it was my job to,”listen,” to what they were trying to tell me. This video validates all those years of work…I knew then that I was understanding, and that I was understood…this just fills my heart with joy.
God Bless, Julia
People say lots of things, including a lot of lies. We lie to ourselves and others about what we think and feel, mostly in order to present ourselves in the most favorable way possible. I’m not saying that we are all horrible people who seek out to screw with the world every day. I just think that life is hard sometimes, and that we lie in order to make it a little easier…even if it’s only lying to ourselves. It’s easy to tell a lie but REALLY hard to live one.
I know this first hand of course because I was married to a man for eighteen very long years. I did what, at the time, I thought I was supposed to do…actually I thought it was the easy thing to do. Pretend you are like everyone else and no one will know what is really in your heart…yeah, well, that doesn’t work. In fact what it does do is make you really miserable, as well as everyone around you. This is obviously a big lie to live but we all live the little lies every day.;
We say we love our job, spouse, friends…but really we do not and everyone can see it in the way we behave. It’s hard to pretend you’re happy all the time when you are not. You can tell when someone is lying about things by the way they behave. You get that little nagging feeling in the back of your mind that the pieces of the puzzle are not really fitting together. Usually we ignore those feelings because we want to believe what the person is telling us. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
God Bless, Julia
We all have fears, some silly, some not so silly, however I have found that most of my little fears can be lumped together under a more general fear. What I fear most…and what has led to my greatest mistakes in life…is the fear of not being loved. The fear that the people I love will go away, stop loving me, or never loved me. When I was younger, that fear was much bigger then it is now…the crazy ass things I did for love could fill a novel. As I get older I find it less likely that I would publicly humiliate myself…well on purpose anyway. Fear can keep us, or delay us, from our destiny. Fear can keep us from doing what is in the best interest of ourselves.
I have to be careful with this fear because there are people who have known me for years…family, ex-family…that use my fear to manipulate situations. That is convoluted talk for…everyone knows I will do anything for my kids. Basically I know that when push comes to shove, I would throw myself in front of a train for my children. I have been known to take life threatening risks for other people’s children as well. An example: risking contracting something while giving a child, who was bleeding from the mouth, CPR. I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve…my mother use to worn me about it all the time…but at least I have a heart that can be broken. The alternative is to be a selfish, egomaniacal, bit**. Not that I have anyone in mind, or a few people, ok, maybe two, lol. Oh well…Live, Love , Laugh…
God Bless, Julia